The Lord of the Rings - Extended Trilogy

We watched the extended edition of the Lord of the Rings trilogy: The Fellowship of the Ring, The Two Towers, The Return of the King.


The Fellowship of the Ring


It was really green.
- L

The second best of the trilogy. I hate the stupid bits in the shire with the dancing and the Hobbits generally being lame however the Ring Wraiths were pretty sweet. Actually the Hobbits were easily the worst thing about the film and perhaps the trilogy (besides Treebeard, but we'll get to that). Merri & Pippin are officially horrible. Admittedly, Peter Jackson kind of screwed up their characterization but they're the worst. Gandalf didn't put up too much of a fight either. Eh.
- Mike

Gandalf + queer Hobbits = LOL.
- AJ


The Two Towers


After many months of looking forward to watching the full Lord of the Rings trilogy I was very, very disappointed/frustrated/annoyed/angry/let down by AJ and his lack of patience for film. Basically, out of his boredom and sheer selfishness - or what some other people would call ignorance - he decided to fast forward 75% of the film giving his own commentary in a monotone, boring, mundane, un-creative, un-descriptive and overall stupid tone. "This is where Rohan gets all together" does not cover 45 minutes of story development. It is a shame I can't actually review this film because I have not seen it in its' entirity.
- L

The first disc of this extended edition is probably the most arduous watch next to Bertolucci's full 315 minute version of 1900 in the history of film. It seriously goes forever and consists of nothing but Gollum being a completely annoying drag and stupid Treebeard being the worst. I think Treebeard was on the first disc. I don't even remember.
The best part about watching this disc was AJ fast forwarding the boring bits without warning and giving a brief summary in the most annoyed tone possible over the sped-up footage. In fact, I'd love to see AJ do a full cut of LOTR including fast forwarded bits with him summarising what actually happens, because you could legitimately sum up about 75% of TTT's extended 223 minute running time in about 2 minutes. If that.
- Mike

Shoot me now.
- AJ


The Return of the King


After quite a few weeks, numerous organisational phone calls and petrol money it was fantastic to see the end of the Lord of the Rings trilogy after such a huge buildup (thanks to AJ). I hated the dumb steward of Gondor character and I think a kingdom where a tree that blooms signifying that the king is present cannot be questioned for its lameness, thus I have no further comments.
- L

Ah, the best one. This is where you thank Peter Jackson for stealing a total of 683 extended minutes of your life because he finishes it off really well. Samwise continues to flash makeout eyes at Frodo, who gets shut down by Shelob and remains catatonic for an unforgivably short amount of time. Viggo goes around showing all forms of bad-arsery and basically lays down the law non-stop (besides getting with Liv Tyler at the end) while holding the biggest sword film has ever seen or will ever see.
The day is saved by an army of ghosts (yes, ghosts), that really annoying king who was the worst dude jumps off that massive tower while on fire which was rad. Gollum dies (finally), huge hawks pick up Frodo and Samwise (it could happen), the film ends about six times (unfortunately they don't show Bilbo dying which I was upset about: I didn't like him as a character) and Samwise ends up ruling Hobbiton and probably becomes a pimp in some unpublished LOTR appendix. PJ obviously couldn't find that text but it's implied.
- Mike

Smeagle + queer Hobbits = LOL.
- AJ


Trilogy Summary

Promising, fun, time-consuming and (no) thanks to Aaron, brief.
- L

Will probably go down as one of the great trilogies in film. Pretty amazing despite all the annoying bits like Treebeard, the Hobbits, that doucher king who tried to light himself & David Wenham on fire, Hobbiton, Gollum, Merri & Pippin, Hagrid, Bilbo and every inch Gandalf gave the Hobbits who turned them into miles to ruin everything and slow everyone down while he fixes it all again.
- Mike

Epic battles + homestyle commentary + Frodo & Sam relationship = top quality trilogy fun.
- AJ


Trilogy Grade

Pre-AJ: 95/100. Post-AJ: 82.75/100.
- L

88/100.
- Mike

95/100.
- AJ