The Jurassic Park Trilogy: Jurassic Park III.

I never realized camcorders could last 8 weeks on a tropical rain forest infested with dinosaurs, survive the elements and then play film after just replacing the battery. I never realized how realistic it was that 4 adult males in a search party all armed and supposedly trained could die in under two days while a young boy between the age of 12-14 could survive 8 weeks by himself. I never realized that a monophonic ringtone from a satellite phone in the belly of a Spinosaurus could be heard, especially through dense jungle. I would like an explanation of how the young boy somehow collected a bottle of T Rex urine. The response of 'you don't want to know' when questioned by Dr Grant in regards to its' acquirement was a lazy way of saying - ' we don't have any possible explanation for this.' The formula for each Jurassic Park film contains at least one super ridiculously annoying character that has to be mega oblivious and obnoxious, spiraling everyone else into danger. That makes for annoying viewing. Luckily the trilogy is here to think, so you don't have to. It's a no-brainer, don't watch this film.
- L

This film is like DINOSAUR DINOSAUR DINOSAUR DINOSAUR DINOSAUR end. Which is cool if you're making a visual effects reel to show off dinosaurs. If you're making a film with characters and a plot (plot?) then it's not a particularly useful tactic. Watching this film continually violate every single internal law it sets up for itself is a pretty amazing thing to witness and I don't think I've seen it done better since Hitman. Wow. Hitman was horrible. This is worse though. The spinosaurus was badarse. My jaw literally dropped and stayed there for about a minute when the army rolled up on the beach. Seriously amazing. Sam Neill (he's back, dammit) said something about a river to Laura Dern on the phone and she somehow convinced the army to roll up on Isla Sorna and save dudez. I was shocked. I'm still shocked. This film is well made. Kind of. The dinosaurs aren't even good. Lost World had better ones. Lost World seriously had better visual effects than this hunk of T-Rex crap. Apparently Joe Johnston asked to direct The Lost World but Spielberg said he could do the third. Spielberg should have punched him in the face.
- Mike.

Dinosaurs are cool. Making movies of them is not.
-AJ